Illegally Blonde

All that was missing to complete her look and to complement that deep, husky voice was a signature cigarette resting tentatively between her forefinger and middle finger. She seated herself comfortably in the chair with one leg tucked under her bottom and hands resting on her thighs, as she anticipated my questioning with a tinge of nervousness.

Jessica Blase looks and sounds like a Jozi girl from the Northern suburbs and she has all the superficialities which suit that description. She has the accent, drives a VW Golf, lives in Fourways, wears a gold bangle, has blonde hair and blue eyes, and she attended one of the most prestigious schools in Johannesburg – Saint Stithians.

She came to Rhodes seeking change “I was supposed to go to UCT and a friend of mine was here, so I came to Grahamstown and noticed that it’s very different from other places. So I decided to come here just for a change - to be somewhere different.” Now she lives in a digs on African Street with her best friend from grade two and three other girls from Port Elizabeth.

Jess has had a positive experience of Rhodes life which has included copious amounts of partying, though she admits that all has slowed down “with age”. Living off campus has proven to have its emotional perks too, “I love my digs, our home is my sanctuary – we just sit around drink tea and chat all day.” The truth in that statement radiates off her face – her eyes light up and she flashes a perfect, pearly-white smile. Her chattiness is evidence of who she says she is “I love arguing and hearing other people’s opinions – I love laughing and entertaining, cooking is my de-stress “she chimes.

Her friends think she’s “out there” – a free spirit and she admits that she is the crazier one between her sister and herself but beneath that unapparent madness is a woman who is focussed and very insistent on letting people know as much, “I’m someone that’s with it, I mean I’m always the one who is sorting things out and helping my friends out with everything. Blonde is a problem, people see you dressed up, with blonde hair and a big bag and they think…”

When she is not busy with school and sundry student life, she gets in touch with her spiritual self by making enquiry of astrology books. A lot of her life and the decisions that she makes are based on these enquiries. Though she calls herself a sceptic and questioner of many things, she believes in a higher being that has created all life but she is reluctant to give it a name like so many other religions have done, so she calls it “Him”.

As I finish typing up my work on the computer, I realise that Jess embodies all of the things that she said she was. She is perched at a nearby station gladly offering her help and opinion to a friend that was clearly in need.

Today's Message

I love the way God always meets me where I am.

Today's message at church was so encouraging, especially considering the fact that I have been feeling rather distant from Him. It has inspired me to approach quiet times with my Father in a different way.

The message was preached from 2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit"; and spoke about how we can better relate to God.

We were told of the different veils which exist in our lives which are symbolic of the things or instances which keep or delay us from moving from better to best within our relationship with the Lord.

Essentially, the message was relaying the fact that God wants to get to know us better. I mean yes, He is omniscient and does know everything about us because He created us BUT we sometimes fail to invite Him into all areas of our lives. We just go about our lives in a religious way, factoring God in wherever we can but we don't engage Him beyond that. We don't engage Him as our Father who has a personality and can help us. These veils that we have in the different areas of hour heart - disobedience, condemnation, unforgiveness etc, etc, keep us from moving from a good relationship with God to the best realtionship with Him.

It is only once we remove these veils and really include God in every aspect of our lives, that we will reflect His glory and be transformed into His likeness.

I am so encouraged after hearing this message and I am ready to move full-steam ahead with this week.

Internet love

What is the likelihood of a long-lasting, intimate relationship forming between two people that meet online? I mean, if you think about it, a person can be whomever he wants to be online – tall, muscular, chocolate skinned and well-educated. He could turn out to possess none of these qualities and yet win you over with his personality alone.

I recently read about a couple who met on a blog. After a couple of emails to each other, co-writing a book on perfumes and a rendezvous in London –they were married.

A friend of mine told me that her aunt met some guy online whom she later got engaged to. Everything was peachy until the aunt realised that she and this man were actually were not well-suited. They were together for 4 years.

Another friend told me of an article that she had read which spoke about online love being more likely to last than conventional relationships because the parties involved were more inclined to make the relationship work. This seems to be true of the perfume bloggers.

I went through a phase a few months ago where I really thought that I would meet my mate by signing up to some online dating sites. Needless to say, I got over the fact that many of them wouldn’t let me get past viewing a profile without demanding money in some form or another.

I spent some time constructing a profile of ‘me in a nutshell’. I uploaded it along with pictures of myself and heaved a sigh of anxiety because I felt so exposed and totally out of character. After that, I perused some of the offerings on one of the sites – sent a wink here and blew a kiss there. Then I waited.

I can’t begin to articulate the excitement that gushed through my veins when I checked my emails and saw “Lovetohelp has sent you a reply on AfroRomance.com” or “ManofGod has sent you a wink on ChristianSingles.com”. This was the beginning of a mini-addiction, fuelled by my desperation to be in a long-lasting and meaningful relationship with a special somebody. I drank it all in – the kisses, winks, yeses and even got some “sorry, I don’t think we’d make a good match” – ouch!

I slowly grew despondent because a lot of the men that responded to my profile didn’t come close to what I envisioned my perfect partner to be but also because there was this still small voice inside of me that kept whispering “You are worth much more than this. You will be in a meaningful and loving relationship in time. Though it tarries, wait for it”. This voice progressed to be an overwhelming compulsion to remove my profiles from these online sites and to focus my energies on things which I can do something about in the present.

I still wonder whether online relationships can be anything more than what they are – escapist. But those bloggers have ignited a flicker of hope inside me. I don’t think that I’ll be going back online to find a man. I know that he is somewhere out there looking for me and that our paths will meet one day. But for now I’m staying put and heeding that still, small voice.

Paranoia

I usually try not to allow television programmes affect me, especially if its mindless viewing like eTV's highly-revered soapie Rhythm City. But Peter SePuma's character in today's episode struck a chord within me. SePuma plays Miles Vilakazi, a music mogul who suffered a stroke after a car accident and wakes up to find his record company in the hands of his arch-enemy. The sudden realisation that his entire life's work is no more, offsets his paranoia.

You know, the saddest thing about the after effects that years of drugging have had on my brother is not only the fact that he is faced with the tremendous task of rebuilding his life, self-esteem and credibility but also that he has to deal with bouts of paranoia that have attempted to become ingrained in the fabric that is his life.

Sometimes I wonder if he is just acting because my brother is a pretty intelligent guy and a person like him couldn't possibly believe that half the stuff he tells me is true. Sometimes he'll tell me things like 'the reception on this phone is messed up because the people next door have put a bugging device in it'. Or that the government has technology which allows for people's phone conversations to be monitored. He'll wake up on some days and cover his curtains with black refuse bags because he doesn't want the spies to see inside his room.

Even though I wonder if this is all an act, I know that it is not because what kind of person would purposefully want to put himself or his family through that kind of stress? And besides, he's pretty normal when he's not being paranoid, so I doubt that this is some kind of pastime to him.

Miles Vilakazi believes that there are hidden cameras everywhere he goes and it made me sad to watch that because I remembered my brother. I wondered what goes on in the mind and heart of a person plagued with paranoia -I quietly asked the Lord to restore my brother's mind.

I believe that he will come full-circle. Not only will my brother's mind be restored but everything else that was lost or stolen from his life will also be restored one hundred fold. His life will be a testimony to all.

Heritage Day

So much for Heritage Day!



I remember a time quite long ago when days as significant as this were fussed over and celebrated in ways which left indelible memories for those who joined in the festivities. But today was just another day-off. Grahamstown was as dead as it's ever been.



Heritage Day for the average Rhodent was a braai and a bottle of "Crackling" with some friends at a digs somewhere on Graham Street. There was probably no discussion about South African culture, diversity, our past or even how this country has made great strides since this public holiday was officially created. But I should be one to talk!



I didn't braai or drink or spend my Heritage Day with friends at a digs somewhere on Bond Street - I worked. My only relish was working at my own pace without the "inconvenience" of having to attend lectures. I also spent a good part of this day wondering what Heritage Day was really about and whether South Africans still cared. By the looks and sounds of eRini, nobody was phased-perhaps things are a bit different back home. Joburgers were always ones to go all out and throw a big party.

I think that Heritage Day should be everyday. We should be celebrating who we are as a nation, how far we have come and all that we have inherited along the way. These are the things that make South Africa what it is - the people, their cultures, national monuments and even the unique wildlife that we have.

Perhaps people are too embroiled in their own lives and daily struggles to even take the time to reflect on and celebrate this day. Perhaps people don't see cause for celebration given the recent developments in our country. Perhaps our nation is not informed enough about Heritage Day to truly enjoy it. Or maybe, just maybe, people actually don't care.

Transition

Apparently what's happening now - our president getting fired and half his cabinet resigning in solidarity, is an indication of a resilient democracy. It is a display of common sense and something that was well-past its sell by date.

I was watching the news and thinking to myself that this past two-week's happenings were long in the making - the sacking of JZ as the nation's deputy president and the acrimony which ensued within the ruling party had set the ball rolling for a somewhat sad ending to Mbeki's presidency.

I guess a large portion of South Africans, including myself, are quite disillusioned with what has transpired. I understand and am fully cognizant of the fact that Mbeki only had 7 more months in office and I guess one would ask what difference it makes that he leaves office earlier. But when I consider those that are left behind to usher South Africa into a new season under a different presidency, I tend to want to hold on to that last bit of decent, wise, intellectual, perceptive leadership that is - or rather, that was.

I guess it' s the total shock of it all. I was not expecting that Judge Nicholson's ruling would be the final nail in Mbeki's coffin. Quite frankly I was expecting the nation to be eased into the change of season but perhaps that is a bit much to expect on the cusp of a new era.

It is quite unfortunate that South Africa does not have an opposition to ring home about because now is the time to begin considering which party to vote for next year. I have no faith in the new leadership, shame. Perhaps issue-voting is the best way to go.

It appears that Chinese saying 'May you live in interesting times', has finally become of South Africa.