Internet love

What is the likelihood of a long-lasting, intimate relationship forming between two people that meet online? I mean, if you think about it, a person can be whomever he wants to be online – tall, muscular, chocolate skinned and well-educated. He could turn out to possess none of these qualities and yet win you over with his personality alone.

I recently read about a couple who met on a blog. After a couple of emails to each other, co-writing a book on perfumes and a rendezvous in London –they were married.

A friend of mine told me that her aunt met some guy online whom she later got engaged to. Everything was peachy until the aunt realised that she and this man were actually were not well-suited. They were together for 4 years.

Another friend told me of an article that she had read which spoke about online love being more likely to last than conventional relationships because the parties involved were more inclined to make the relationship work. This seems to be true of the perfume bloggers.

I went through a phase a few months ago where I really thought that I would meet my mate by signing up to some online dating sites. Needless to say, I got over the fact that many of them wouldn’t let me get past viewing a profile without demanding money in some form or another.

I spent some time constructing a profile of ‘me in a nutshell’. I uploaded it along with pictures of myself and heaved a sigh of anxiety because I felt so exposed and totally out of character. After that, I perused some of the offerings on one of the sites – sent a wink here and blew a kiss there. Then I waited.

I can’t begin to articulate the excitement that gushed through my veins when I checked my emails and saw “Lovetohelp has sent you a reply on AfroRomance.com” or “ManofGod has sent you a wink on ChristianSingles.com”. This was the beginning of a mini-addiction, fuelled by my desperation to be in a long-lasting and meaningful relationship with a special somebody. I drank it all in – the kisses, winks, yeses and even got some “sorry, I don’t think we’d make a good match” – ouch!

I slowly grew despondent because a lot of the men that responded to my profile didn’t come close to what I envisioned my perfect partner to be but also because there was this still small voice inside of me that kept whispering “You are worth much more than this. You will be in a meaningful and loving relationship in time. Though it tarries, wait for it”. This voice progressed to be an overwhelming compulsion to remove my profiles from these online sites and to focus my energies on things which I can do something about in the present.

I still wonder whether online relationships can be anything more than what they are – escapist. But those bloggers have ignited a flicker of hope inside me. I don’t think that I’ll be going back online to find a man. I know that he is somewhere out there looking for me and that our paths will meet one day. But for now I’m staying put and heeding that still, small voice.